Machine Curl

Have you ever inflated a ball before? Or maybe a balloon? Have you ever shoved the trash to fit in the garbage bag? Have you stuffed your stomach so full that you deteriorated? Well, other than the last one, my arteries have experienced this stuffing mechanism before by pumping so much blood into my biceps. Almost every time that I use this machine, I make my arteries work overtime. Blood courses into my biceps, and they start throbbing, almost as if they are ready to blow up. What an appalling masterpiece!

Skullcrusher

I will never forget the first time I did this exercise. It was a bit wonky I cannot lie, but the morning after was truly something special. My triceps have never been that sore, and I felt regions that I didn't even know existed. My triceps felt like a roasted chicken over a bonfire consisting of magma and hydrochloric acid. This is the tricep exercise that I crave the most. This exercise has basically become a mantra, a desire, and an obsession that gnaws at the tattered edges of my sanity.

Straight Bar Tricep Extension

The amount of people that stare at themselves in the mirror while performing this exercise is absurd. I am a victim of this. But only to see if my form is exquisite, not to inflate my ego by looking at my massive triceps or should I say horseshoes. Croissants, even. I can't even see them because I never wear tank tops or stringers to the gym. I don't even own any. But when I lift those sleeves. As I unveil those massive and tremendous triceps from their covers, oh boy do I get satiated.

Seated Incline Dumbbell Curl

As I start my particle accelerator, I begin to feel the electricity pulsating through my veins. One rep after another. The generator starts firing its pistons and with each rep, the intensity gets stronger. Next thing you know, I'm sending my physical existence into overdrive. My generator is overheating, and each rep becomes more demanding. After I combust, I lie there, decomposing into nothingness and vanishing from reality.

Machine Tricep Extension

KABOOM! Obliteration. I obliterate my triceps. Alliteration. Take thy time to try this tricep technique so that thy triceps turn into tantalizingly toned tendons. Salivation. What a delicious exercise. Deforestation. With triceps like these, I'll be chopping down those tall plants in no time! Exclamation! Captivation. Become engrossed with each rep. Your body is now a part of the machine. Termination.

Reverse Curl

I've only recently started to incorporate forearms in my workouts. Every variant of the wrist curl just feels awkward. But this exercise is utter perfection. I just know that this exercise will grow on me and climb the rankings. I have never felt such forearm activation. Losing the ability to bend your wrists is okay since the feeling of soreness in your forearm is nothing but sheer satisfaction. Sometimes my forearms feel like they have been blown to shreds by an IED or have been obliterated by a Remington shotgun. Terrific!

Preacher Curl

I don't mind these, but I remember the first few times I tried this exercise. The muscular imbalance was comical. Also, those videos of people tearing their biceps really discouraged me from doing this exercise. I have stopped doing this exercise and replaced it entirely with Machine Curls. I am scared. Frightened. I have never experienced an injury in the gym and I don't plan to.

EZ Bar Curl

I used to do this exercise religiously. As in, the thought of doing biceps just led to this exercise. But alas, I am a lazy indivdual. I have replaced this exercise entirely with Seated Incline Dumbbell Curls, which is usually one of the last exercises done in the workout. By that point, I feel like I have donated all of my blood. This, on top of my laziness, just makes me just fall asleep on the bench. Just know that you'll be catching my lifeless body snoozing frequently.

Rope Tricep Extension

I don't particularly like the rope extension for Tricep Extensions when using the cable. It doesn't feel exactly correct. The main reason is the grip and holding the extension itself. My hands don't like that texture and being squished into the end caps. Also, by the time I hit failure, my triceps don't feel as juiced as they should. Maybe I just do this exercise completely wrong, but that's unlikely. Who knows? It is possible though. Maybe I do deserve to be isolated from the world. But I am already. How fun! It's just me and my voices.

Tricep Dip

Unlike the Chest Dip, a Tricep Dip is more upright and requires you to actively maintain this posture. However, I just do Dips to target both the chest and triceps, so I have no clue as to why I separated Dips into two separate exercises. I'm just a little braindead. Writing all of these descriptions has caused severe brain damage and dismantled my noggin into nothing but pure swamp tar. Plus, my motivation for this project has been completely eradicated. Ahaha! Everything I write becomes ever so slightly more frivolous.

Hammer Curl

This was the go-to exercise for forearms which I rarely even train in the first place. But one day, I tried out reverse curls. Oh boy! Gee golly. How delectable they are! What a change in perspective. What an experience! That day, I said goodbye to Hammer Curls forever and developed a manic infatuation with Reverse Curls. There is no going back; I have simply evolved and undergone an irreversible transition.

Spider Curl

Although this is a good exercise, I hate setting up for it, especially with a normal bench. This applies to all other exercises that are in this position, which I avoid because it just feels weird to be in that position. Otherwise, this is a phenomenal exercise to grow your biceps. Maybe that's why my biceps are lacking. Or maybe I just don't train hard enough. Or maybe I just don't like doing biceps that much. Or maybe I need to get psychiatric help for the voices in my head.

Overhead Rope Tricep Extension

Not only is a skullcrusher ten times better, but to get into position for this exercise is just wonky. I don't believe this exercise is fun at all. I'm not having fun doing this project anymore. I'm not even having fun in school. Hold on, when did I even have fun in school? School has nothing but given me extreme insomnia and schizophrenia, establishing the perfect deranged world for me to live in.

Rope Cable Curl

This exercise is not bad at all. But, I can go ahead and do other biceps exercises that are just better. I think I'm just a hater of the rope extension. Maybe I was just born with a natural bias to have an enmity towards inferior gym equipment. Also, I think I've lost my sanity due to this Computer Science stuff. I'm a little messed up, but aren't we all hahah!!!! It's like I haven't had any brain development since I stepped into college; I've only gone backwards in terms of human functionality.

Wrist Curl

I could not find any images for this exercise and that thing on the right was what I had to resort to. What an awful angle; this bird's eye view makes the figure look quite bizarre. But I digress, this exercise is doodoo. However, I don't know any other exercise that trains the inside of your forearm. But, I don't use grips or straps, so that inherently trains this muscle when performing other exercises that require some grip strength.

Reverse Wrist Curl

Just do Reverse Curls. I've attempted this exercise and did approximately 4 reps. Never again! I'd rather be placed in solitary confinement than do this exercise over Reverse Curls. Oh wait, I am already in solitary confinement. All I do is code or learn how to code in my room because I have to teach myself how to use technologies for the industry that my school does not teach. I've heard a quote somewhere that says becoming a Software Engineer, or a Web Developer in my case, is like trying to become a chef from a chemistry degree. Very accurate I must say.

Standing Dumbbell Curl

I think everyone started here. This had to be everyone's first bicep exercise. However, this exercise has become a simple no thank you. If you do this exercise, you either just started the gym or look like an absolute mammoth of a biologic creature. No in between. I don't know man, what do I even write anymore? How does my brain keep on writing these descriptions when I am stressed beyond comprehension, have no motivation, and lack sleep? That is, I have the maximum amount of sleep deprivation. I believe my sanity left me a long time ago.

Dumbbell Kickback

The most ineffective exercise on this entire list. Every other arm exercise can be effective and useful, but Dumbbell Kickbacks are completely inferior to all other tricep exercises. If you do this exercise, you are considered to be a gym troglodyte. You have not developed with the times. This exercise was only popular in 1800 B.C. Imagine going into a rainforest and discovering a primal tribe that has never seen civilization. If you do this exercise, you belong with those tribes.